FIRST IMPRESSIONS ON THE FIRST...

my FIRST IMPRESSION of "NOT ME MONDAY"

how perfect that the first of this month falls on a monday. because do i have a story for you.
i've been inspired to take part in mckmamma's "not me monday" today (click here), mostly because i feel that it is the only way this story can ever be told. so just to be clear, this story is not about me, okay? this most definitely did not happen to me last month...

while on a mission to drop off muffins at the hospital, i did not get lost in the very place i have visited over 50 times since moving to houston.

and i did not have to cut my hospital visit short because i spent so long trying to find the rooms in the first place that it was already time to go once i finally got there.

i did not give up my search for a bathroom on my way to the parking garage, even though i needed to go quite badly.

i did not get stuck in traffic for over an hour as i left the hospital to go to my haircut appointment.

of course i did not change my appointment time once, twice, three times along the drive (or lack there of) as i continued to sit in traffic and miss each new appointment time.

i did not obsess with how i should have canceled a stupid hair appointment to spend more time with the families at the hospital instead.

nor did i add an entire tall bottle of smartwater to my already full bladder to pass the time in the eternal traffic jam.

when i finally did arrive at my destination i most certainly did not valet park at a swanky department store, to be "on time" for my appointment to frantically find a restroom.

when every restroom at the department store was suddenly m.i.a. i did not do a full-out potty dance while waiting for the elevator.

i did not feel a small trickle begin to flow as i climbed into the elevator.

and i did not have to call the salon and reschedule yet another time in order to go find a nearby store to buy a cheap pair of pants to wear instead of my now wet ones.

i definitely did not give up on that search and do the walk of shame through the mall halls and right into the hair salon with wet pants instead.

and i didn't make up a cover-up story in my head about how my drink embarrassingly spilled in my lap just in case anyone asked.

nor did i make a poor attempt to tie my three-quarter sleeve cardigan around my waist for coverage.

i didn't breathe a sigh of relief when the receptionist told me that after all this scheduling drama i would have to have a different hairdresser do my hair this once.

of course i wasn't happy at all that someone i would never have to face again would see me in this state of wetness, instead of my usual hair guy.

i did not go just a little bit crazy on the new hairdresser who wanted to wait to put my cape on until after i was already seated in the wash station chair.

and i didn't try to indiscreetly wipe off the chair upon standing up.

i most definitely didn't spend the entire haircut wondering if the plastic covers on the salon chairs were originally installed with pant-wetting 29-year-olds in mind or small children.

and i did not walk out with out tipping the person who did my haircut because walking that walk of shame through the salon one more time would be more than i could handle.

and most importantly i did not fall in love with the way the new hairdresser did my hair.

i didn't love the cut so much so that i wish i could go to him every month so he could give me this same exact cut.

i did not seriously consider using him again after sitting for an hour in his hair cutting chair with pee in my pants.

nope, not me. i would never do anything like that.


here's proof that i did not get a haircut recently (just a little shorter and a few more layers)
and the little girl with hair that definitely does not need a haircut anytime soon.