FIRST IMPRESSION ...

MY FIRST IMPRESSION OF THE TIEBREAKER'S DELIVERY

i do not take for granted the gift of carrying three precious lives. i had plenty of fears, concerns and opportunities to grow throughout this pregnancy. i also had plenty of expectations.

when i was told the tiebreaker would be delivered by c-section at 40 weeks (or whenever i went into labor due to her projected large size and previous delivery complications) all of my delivery expectations went out the window. it seems ridiculous now how selfish and in denial i was. i'm embarrassed to say i threw more than one grownup tantrum over it. i reacted out of fear of the unknowns and was disappointed the delivery wouldn't happen the same way as the other two.

a few weeks before her birth i shared the lessons i have been learning about how no one else's story is my own. throughout pregnancy this applied to the moments i would begin to dwell on another's situation and worry about my own or i would catch myself beginning to seek comfort from the positives of others stories. of course, this wasn't a lesson i learned for an isolated time in life. i know this truth is constant.

shortly after mae's arrival, one of adelaide's friends asked me if mae was cut out of my tummy. i told her yes, and this four-year-old informed me proudly she was the only one of her brothers and sisters to be cut out of her mommy's tummy too! she told me it made her special. little moments like this made me smile as i processed how mae arrived. i knew the right words to say all along but it took awhile for my heart to catch up. it has taken time to learn to rest in the peace of the details of my story. the truth is i don't get to/need to/ have to know all the why's for how she arrived. but it is a part of my story just as it is a part of mae's! 

there is so much to celebrate in the details of her delivery:

*getting to experience going into labor for the first time ever.

*not waiting 12 more days of wondering what a c-section would be like.

*the incredible care we received by the nurses and doctors all along the way.
*peace for a dad that we wouldn't be repeating the scary moments of other deliveries.
*the way they explained each step of the process to me in terms i understood and with calmness.

*the delays since there wasn't a room available when i arrived at the hospital led to her delivery happening in the early morning instead of middle-of-the-night. -this meant i got to have my favorite nurse as soon as went to recovery room and again two other days. -this also meant jim brought the kids to the hospital waiting room and they got to announce if the baby was a brother or sister.

thank you God,

for never giving up on me. for refining me day-by-day. that the tiebreaker, mae, is safely here.

for caring about the details of our stories. for the gift of being this girl's mom.

SHOWERED WITH LOVE...

little baby,

you have been loved thoroughly before anyone has even met you. 

at the end of october, the girls from our community group at church planned a dinner celebrating you and me at black walnut cafe. it was a great night of chatting, eating, laughing and praying. they showered us with such thoughtful gifts ranging from comfy loungewear for me, to gift cards, to babysitting while your dad and i went on a couple more dates before you arrive.

then in mid-november, more sweet friends hosted a cocoa and cookies shower in honor of us. the table was set with my favorite desserts and we drank my favorite beverage. i lost count how many cups of hot cocoa i had, so thanks for sharing with me. 

it was a fun-filled night soaking up lots of wonderful girl time and being outfitted with great supplies before your arrival. i am thankful and honored to share the excitement for your arrival with such thoughtful, encouraging, supportive friends through each season of life.

feel free to come on and meet each of our friends whenever you are ready.

i can assure you lots of love is in store for you!

love you the most,

your momma

EMBRACE THE BELLIES...

three dear friends are each due within a few weeks of the baby in my belly.

each has a unique story, as we all do.

one has a son born with a chromosome disorder,

leading doctors to say he would likely never come home from the hospital.

they gave him weeks to months to live, he is now four.

and she now she carries his sibling.

one was told pregnancy most likely wouldn't happen due to past health conditions of her own.

two years ago she gave birth to her daughter.

now she carries a second girl.

one struggled with infertility and years of unknowns, tests and procedures.

in between, while taking a break to pray for wisdom for the next step she became pregnant.

now she carries a son.

throughout this pregnancy my anxiety, doubts, comparisons, etc. have been strong.

why do i have two healthy kids?

would i be so "lucky" as to have another?

this person doesn't have any kids, why should i get to have another?

that family has an army of kids, maybe we really could have three?

what do all their stories mean for ours?

during the first trimester i woke up and heard God tell me calm as could be,

no one else's story is yours.

multiple times.

this truth doesn't tell me everything is fine.

it also doesn't translate to everything is wrong.

it simply means, no one else's story is mine.

we each have our own stories we carry and i am to rest in the peace of that alone.

as i've had to learn over and over in life in so many different stages and ways-

stop comparing.

stop rushing ahead.

trust God for this moment and this moment alone until the next moment.

does that scare me? yes.

does that go against everything in my do-whatever-it-takes-to-make-things-work-out personality? yes.

do i have this perfected? no.

will i ever? no.

but still i pray for strength to trust each part of my story each day as it comes.

and i celebrate big time as i get to have a front row seat watching precious friends' stories unfold too!

today i EMBRACED THE CAMERA with (almost) matching due dates bellies.
more EMBRACING can be found at andersonfamilycrew.blogspot.com.

GROW BABY GROW (continued)...

28 WEEKS
the nurse weighed me this week and i had a feeling it might not be pretty. upon returning from eight days at antique show (partnered with daily doses of white chocolate cranberry cookies and frozen cappuccinos). when she got on the scale to weigh herself next i thought it a little odd that she was weighing herself with me in the room. then it hit me, she is checking to make sure the scale works. i assured her it was probably correct and asked how much i gained and she said i had nothing to worry about (to avoid answering). so again i asked, was it over ten pounds? no, no it wasn't she quickly responded. looking at my chart i realized she had been honest, since 9 1/2 pounds is technically under 10.

30 WEEKS
you and your cousin-to-be seem to really like matching already. mel and i keep showing up places coordinating, and halloween was no exception in our black and white stripes. good thing you are getting used to it already because i hope y'all continue matching for many years to come. you are moving more than ever and i love feeling each punch, kick and wiggle you send my way. your speciality is performing full-out gymnastics routines when i crawl in bed each night. i am thirstier than ever and your dad lost count of how many evening sonic runs he has gone on to deliver my favorite thing (route 44 ice water) our way.

32 WEEKS
after a couple attempts i successfully (and thankfully) passed my gestational diabetes test and celebrated with the beginning of peppermint chocolate chip milkshake season at chick-fil-a, perfect timing. we got to tour the brand new hospital where you will be born and the reality of you coming into the world sunk in more as we visited the delivery rooms, saw the recovery rooms, filled out paperwork and tried to imagine meeting you for the first time. i can't stop smiling each time i think about you.

34 WEEKS
this week we celebrated thanksgiving at our house. thank you for the great reason to wear stretchy pants. i am thankful for you for so very many reasons. you had grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins sitting around us enjoying time together and they prepared such yummy food for us all to enjoy. we loved hearing your heartbeat once again at this week's appointment and seeing you are growing well on another ultrasound. you appear to be a big baby like your brother and sister so my doctor has a close eye on you to make the best delivery plan. i continue to pray for: safety for you, wisdom for dr. p's decisions, and peace to trust God already knows how and when you will arrive.

OH HOW I LOVE YOU.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS ON THE FIRST...

more IMPRESSIONS of THE ROOSKIE

while you still have many appropriate nicknames the one that has stuck is THE ROOSKIE.

your brother and sister pray for you by this name daily.

more times than not i call you this name too.

rooskie, we had your 20 week ultrasound last month.

THE TIEBREAKER for our family is...

A HEALTHY LOOKING BABY!

when we went in for your ultrasound i was a mess.

the crazy dreams i'd been having were weighing heavily on my heart.

i started crying as soon as the doctor pulled on the ultrasound wand.

i asked him to please check everything thoroughly. he assured me he always does.

i reminded him to have us look away before we saw whether you were a boy or a girl.

he successfully kept the secret safe from us.

so your gender will be a delivery room surprise like your sister and brother were!

SEEing you look as healthy as can be flooded me with thanksgiving.

i love now FEELing your movements each day.

i still SMELL things stronger than ever.

every TASTE is associated with the heartburn that it will bring.
and yet i keep saying yes to anything being served, especially if it is sweet and carb loaded.

i HEAR everything you hear right now,
and it is another good reminder to guard the words i say and the tone i use.

i am beyond thankful for the gift of carrying you.

our family loves you dearly.

when you were 20 weeks you were along for the ride

as we soaked up the remaining trips to the pool and wearing goggles for this summer.

at 22 weeks we visited new classrooms

as your sister and brother started back-to-school.

at 24 weeks we were watching college and professional football

and you made the road trip to austin for your first UT game.

now you have been cooking for 26+ weeks and we are praying

you continue to stay put for many more weeks. 

grow sweet baby grow!

GROW BABY GROW...

it's time to embrace the camera with the tiebreaker in my belly.

i love you so much already little bit, grow baby grow.

your big sister joined me outside to embrace the camera

with you too, you are loved.

embrace the camera is happening today at andersonfamilycrew.blogspot.com

FIRST IMPRESSIONS ON THE FIRST...

our FIRST IMPRESSIONS of YOU...

little baby, the rooster, the rooskie, the tiebreaker, MCIII

on the morning of april 22nd, evan woke up to get ready to go to church early and set up.

i couldn't go back to sleep, but was wide awake wondering if i was pregnant.

so while he was in the shower i quickly wrote a note saying i went to get more cereal,

then went to the store to buy two pregnancy test (and multi-grain cheerios).

i am not known for my patience or having a large bladder,
and both reasons would explain why i took the tests immediately in the store bathroom stall.
they both declared positive!
MY FIRST IMPRESSION:
i stared at the tests in my hand for a few minutes grinning from ear to ear,
then excitedly/prayerfully drove home with them in my purse.
still trying to let it soak in that you were really growing in me.

when i walked back in the house ev was in the kitchen making coffee
so i casually told him there was something beside cereal in the grocery bag.
EVAN'S FIRST IMPRESSION:
he opened the bag to find the box of tests and looked at me grinning.
once he opened them, he asked several times, "are you serious?!"
then hugged me, laughed, and prayed for you to grow strong and healthy.

it felt like christmas eve, knowing such a fun surprise but not telling anyone quite yet.
i called my doctor and made an appointment for almost a month later,
and we did our normally scheduled things the rest of the week.

thursday night, we had already planned to take your sister and brother to the zoo.
after we saw the special dinosaur exhibit and walked around a bit,
they asked for cotton candy and we said after dinner.

the only place in town we knew to get cotton candy (other than the zoo)
was amazon grille so we headed there.
we sat at a fun circle booth and as we were eating dinner we told them there was a surprise.
of course they thought we were just talking about cotton candy surprise,
but we told them the fun news of you too.

ADELAIDE'S FIRST IMPRESSION:
your sister was soo excited and wanted to know
if she was going to meet you right away or tomorrow.
she prayed for her baby sister before bed that night,
and we told her again you might be a brother.
i woke up the next morning to her checking to see if my belly grew.
every time she prays for you and talks about you, she refers to you as "our baby."
and she now clarifies that you might be a her or a he.

GRAHAM'S FIRST IMPRESSION:
your brother was initially more concerned about eating his chips and dip when we shared the news,
and we weren't sure he understood right away, although he declared you were a boy.
when his teacher at church told me, "graham said the funniest thing today!
he said you have a baby in your tummy. does he know what he's talking about?"
we then knew it sunk in.

 

adelaide took her job versy seriously of informing some people over the weekend.
she told some out-of-town family and friends over facetime, and in person at your dad's 29th birthday party.

she understood we weren't telling everyone until i went to the doctor a couple of times,
and in public she would squeeze my hand and whisper in my ear,
"i am so excited! but i remember, family secret!"

i have felt better and worse this go around then the other two.
less nauseous, more cranky.
less food aversions, more constant hunger.
less sane thoughts, more worries/nightmares.
less normal clothes that fit, more maternity wear already.
but without a doubt the same overwhelming thankfulness and joy that God created you.

dear sweet baby,

i am so thankful for your precious life.

i am thankful for each and every day of you.

xoxo,

your momma

IF PF CHANG'S FIT IN YOUR CROCKPOT...

there are so many reasons why the timing of when evan and i met was ideal.
there is one big exception though-
chinese food.

you see, the first twenty-seven years of my life i loved the stuff.
on my birthday, when given the choice of where to eat i would choose chinese food every time.
my love for it peaked for a decade straight from around age ten to twenty.
i would eat spring rolls by the dozen and never tired of stir-fry anything.

when evan and i were young in love we would happily dine on take-out dishes together.
all was blissful in our home when it came to asian fare.

then i got pregnant.
the mention of ordering take-out had me running to the bathroom.
suddenly, i couldn't stand the thought of eating anything from such establishments.
it was a sad, sad discovery for evan.

he held onto a glimmer of hope that i would return to normal after delivery.
after i had adelaide chinese food still didn't sound good,
but once i actually started eating it i was fine.
he could at least work with that.

then i got pregnant again.
throughout the 40 weeks ev had high hopes.
he just knew that the craziness of pregnancy hormones would reverse my feelings to asian food again.

he was wrong.
it still doesn't ever sound good like it did once upon a time.
although i have learned to cook it on occasion out of love.

the following was one of those dishes
i made for those in my home that still have an affinity for chinese food.
and even i have to say...
it is quite tasty!

CROCKPOT CHICKEN LETTUCE WRAPS
(thank you crockpot 365 for sharing this yummy recipe!)


ingredients:
1 lb (approximately) ground chicken5 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 onion, chopped
1/4 cup soy sauce 
1/4 cup white wine
1/2 t ginger
dash of allspice (or a dash each of cloves, cinnamon and black pepper)
2 T balsamic vinegar
water chestnuts (optional)
peanuts (optional)
directions:
1) cut chicken and put in crockpot.2) chop up the onions and garlic, then add to crockpot on top of chicken.
3) mix soy sauce, wine, and spices together in small bowl.
4) pour sauce on top of chicken.
5) cover and cook for 4-6 hours on high or 6-8 hours on low (stir occasionally).
6) if you like water chestnuts add to the mixture the last half hour or so (added a great crunch).
7) serve over lettuce leaves.
8) top with peanuts if desired (also added more great crunch).

FIRST IMPRESSIONS ON THE FIRST...

(counting down to the)
FIRST IMPRESSION of my SECOND BORN

it won't be long at all until we meet you FACE to FACE!
i have stared at the grainy image of your FACE in ultrasound pictures, but they never quite satisfy!
i have tried to imagine what your sweet FACE will look so many times already,
but i know my imagination can't compare to the moment i actually first look into your eyes.

is it a boy FACE or a girl FACE growing in me?


does your FACE look like
your momma's or your daddy's?







is your FACE cute and thin
or nice and round?

will your FACE look like your sister's or completely different?

all those questions cannot be answered quite yet, but this much i know...
i can't wait to kiss your FACE countless times,
and squeeze your cheeks with love.
i long to watch and study each of your facial expressions
until i know exactly what each look on your FACE means.
i promise to wipe your FACE clean each time it is grubby,
and then you can count on the fact i will kiss your FACE all over again.

xoxoxoxo from my FACE to your FACE sweet baby, i love you!

SERENDIPITOUS- an unexpected, wonderful discovery...

just a few serendipitous moments from this past week...

i've been suffering from a ridiculous hack cough, allergies that make my head spin, and a cold that does not agree with the idea of sleep. a few days ago, it was at its absolute worst. i was desperate for something that might make me feel better, which led our car to drive-thru for a "comfort lunch." after several attempts to order the attendant finally translated that i wanted a cup of oatmeal and a pumpkin spice latte (for me) and a chocolate milk and chocolate chip cookie (for akm). the highlight of the trip came when the drive-thru girl handed me not only the correct order, but a handful of cough drops too. incredibly thoughtful. and saved me a trip to the store later that day.

ordinarily, i am completely annoyed by shopping carts left lingering around parking lots. it seems inconsiderate, lazy, and dangerous. trust me i could get on a mighty high soapbox about this very topic. however, when you are in denial of being sick, should probably be at home on the couch, but insist on carrying your 25 lb. daughter in addition to the growing bebe into h*me dep*t for immediately "needed" project supplies seeing a bright orange shopping cart left right next to our car was the best sight ever for sore arms.

on that trip, i bought a ridiculously large piece of plywood, which would be turned into a bulletin board. not only did the men in orange vests go above and beyond to get it whittled down to a size that fits perfectly in an old frame, they also suggested i take the remains home to use for any future projects. somehow a piece of wood in a warehouse with vaulted ceilings looks a little smaller than it did next to our car. after several failed attempts to shove it in the trunk, the lumber worker voluntarily took it back inside to cut it into several pieces that would successfully fit. he insisted adelaide and i just hang out, listen comfortably to our tunes, and wait for him to hand-deliver it back to us. i'm embarrassed to say, my snap-judgment of these employees was not complimentary. upon first glance, i was doubting their knowledge and professionalism. that changed quickly and you better believe by the time we left the parking lot, i had taken names and was on the phone with the manager loudly singing their praises.

another outing of errands, included a trip to the neighborhood post office. this post office is notorious (like most) for long, long lines which is why i have become best friends with the automated machine you can use to weigh packages and mail them yourself. we mailed our packages and then was asked by the screen, "is there anything else i can help you with today?" i needed to stock up on stamps for the upcoming mail-out of our christmas cards, but really wanted some festive ones instead of just the plain ones. finally, i decided to go ahead and purchase the stamps from the machine instead of pretending i would return anytime soon to wait in a long line just to ask for a specific picture on my stamps. i wish you could have seen the delight on my face when four books of holiday stamps, complete with snowmen, reindeer, and santa came spitting out of the machine.

and finally, something fun appeared on my google reader tonight. a name that is my all-time favorite, but i hadn't seen on there in quite awhile. my husband updated his blog (click here). let's just say he was either inspired by paul anka, or this week's episode of glee. either way his post made me smile. almost as much as the bottle of mucinex that now sits on my counter, waiting to dispense my one pill for the night, as recommended by amanda and approved by my doctor. it is a pregnant girl's cold and sleep remedy dream come true!

i am thankful for each of these moments that were serendipitous to me, and thankful that there is one who knew how they would make me smile, long before they ever even happened.

IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE WATCH ME GROW (BEBE EDITION UPDATED)...

little bebe,

you were the size of...

a lime (12 weeks)

a lemon (14 weeks)

an apple (15 weeks)

an avocado (16 weeks)








a bell pepper (18 weeks)

a tomato (19 weeks)






growing bebe,
you were then the length of...



a banana (20 weeks)

a carrot (21 weeks)

a squash (22 weeks)

an ear of corn (24 weeks)

a cucumber (26 weeks)

and bebe love,
you are now the weight of...




a cauliflower (27 weeks)

a spaghetti squash (29 weeks)








a head of cabbage (30 weeks)

a jicama (32 weeks)








a pineapple (33 weeks)

a cantaloupe (34 weeks)






it's hard to believe, but there's a good chance we might meet you in less than a month!
as i look back over these pictures, it seems like you've been growing in me for so long.
but then at the same time, i can't believe your birthday is really almost here.
it has been my honor to carry you around with me day after day.
your movements make me smile as i imagine what you might look like, be like, exactly who you are.
i know i can't even begin to fathom the immense thankfulness i will have for you,
how many ways you will make our family more precious,
and the incredible way my love for you will continue to grow.
but i keep trying and thanking God for creating YOU!

i already love you so dearly!
xoxo,
your momma

BEBE LOVE, MY BEBE LOVE...

oh sweet "little one," evidently you are not so little. at this week's appointment, your approximate weight was just an ounce shy of five pounds. the doctor has already announced that you are "definitely not petite" and "off the charts." i now have to giggle a little as i read the weekly email updates i receive about your development. all these weeks i have taken pictures holding foods that were supposedly the same size as you, just might have been a little off. like this week for example- i was told carrying a baby your age is like carrying four navel oranges or 3 1/2 pounds. as it turns out you just might have the weight of a few extra oranges squeezed in there somewhere. i sure do love you already chubby-chubs. and rest assured you are not the first chubs in our family. your sister weighed 9 lb. 6 oz when she was born. i, your mom, weighed 10 lb 5 oz when i was born. and your grandma weighed 9 lb 15 oz when she was born. i am thankful for each and every ounce of you, and each and every part of you God is knitting together in my womb. what an honor it is to carry you around while He continues to form your every part. with each kick, punch, and wiggle, i am reminded of the precious role you will play in our family. keep up that good growing for now, but know that i can't wait for the day we meet face to face!

HALFWAY TO MEETING YOU...

dear bebe,

today we had our twenty week ultrasound.
it's hard to believe we are already halfway through this pregnancy.
the technician took her time measuring you from head to toes.
we were so relieved to hear all your measurements look great.
we thank God for each and every part of you he has already created according to His plans.
the technician patiently answered each of our questions as we stared in awe at your being.
you were busy squirming around doing your flips and turns.
we were busy counting fingers and heart chambers.
there is only one of you growing inside me, but we can't help but wonder if you are a boy or a girl.
as of today, someone here on earth now knows, but she said your secret is safe with her.
she didn't give us any clues and my doctor won't find out either until your big arrival day.
we will continue guessing the days away, and are *inviting others to join in the guessing game too!*
one thing is for certain, whether you are a boy or a girl, you are loved so very much.

xoxoxo,
your momma

*you can vote on the poll found on the left-side of the blog. if you want to tell me what your vote is, let me know in the comments!

IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE, WATCH ME GROW (BEBE EDITION CONTINUED)...

little bebe,

you are the size of...

a lime (12 weeks)

a lemon (14 weeks)

an apple (15 weeks)

an avocado (16 weeks)





and i already love you so dearly!
xoxo,
your momma